dear life

i take a move.. moving my ass and steps..
to ili i inform.. that i'm gonna meet some one last 4 night...
its just coincident.. without planing..
surprise!!!! yes.. i done do it...
and, what the stupid thing i done is..
i just cant focus to that man..
even he hot.. even he got good smell.. even he tall.. even he prefect..
I GUESS!!!!
and the stupid thing is.. i just eating my mash mellow and enjoy the night with the hot coco
errmm.. i am stupid..
my heart want my self get out and continue the life like normal person
but my mind keep remind me about him
and my whole day which is 24hours with his shadow..
what the hell is this??? and i don't know...
i just want continue my life and be normal person
i want meet someone new.. i want have connection with new person
and i do want to be love and in love(this what i and mumu always said)
his shadow following me.. even at night(supposedly no shadow right?)
if last time i'll pray he get good life and happy there..
and now i still do the same thing.. yes, honestly...
i do want your life better.. and i don't want you down or regret...
but, on the same time i don't want replacing you coz for me..
nobody can be you.. which is.. you still part of me
and listen.. not replacing you doesn't mean.. you the one i want
i just cant do that and i want my life back without your shadow..
i want my mind stop remind me about you and my heart can accept anyone new
this is what i want.. not rushing.. but at least.. i can enjoy every moment in my life
even you there enjoy your new life with her... soon